Loaded Questions
by Darkfire359
Summary: Matt, Mello, L, Light, Near, and Mikami continue their sleepover at task force headquarters. They play a board game called Loaded Questions. Too bad Near is trying to cheat, and Matt is being a perv. Sequel to Unexpected Wishes.


Author's Note: This is the sequel to Unexpected Wishes. So L, Light, Matt, Mello, Mikami, and Near are still having a sleepover in L's room at the task force headquarters, with a completely impossible timeline. I guess you don't have to read Unexpected Wishes to understand this, but it will make more sense if you do. Betaed by Backyard Bottomslash.

* * *

A hand reached out for the final piece of cake, but it was slapped away by another hand which was attached to a pale, black-haired detective who quickly grabbed the last piece and ate it in 3 bites.

"Geeze L," Mello complained, rubbing his hand in pain, "you'd think it would be possible to be a bit nicer. I mean, the cake is even chocolate."

L gulped the last of the cake down his throat, then explained, "I always have the last piece of cake. This should have been one of the first things Roger educated you on."

"Oh, you mean the Behavior Around L class?" Matt questioned, looking up from his DS. "He skipped teaching that. I believe he said that 'we were all annoying brats and could learn on our own'."

"Can't say I disagree with him," Light piped in.

"I will have Watari dock Roger's paycheck for that..." L said to himself.

"So now that we're done with cake, are we going to play some more party games or what?" Mello asked.

"Certainly," L agreed, "but we shouldn't resume Unexpected Wishes. It became too out of control."

"Come on L, it's a perfectly fine game." Light interjected. "It's just your successors that were the problem. And Mikami." With this he glared at the prosecutor sitting quietly in the corner of the room. He had previously tried to use the game to get Light to kiss him.

"While Light-kun's assessment may be somewhat accurate, the problem remains that we must find a new activity that everyone may partake in," L elaborated.

"So what are we going to do?" the Kira suspect inquired.

"I am open to ideas." L stated. "However, it must be adequately social, and not require leaving the building."

"We could roleplay using my finger puppets," Near suggested.

"No one else wants to play with your creepy looking toys. And think about it; when you use them, you're pretty much sticking your finger up our butts," Mello remarked.

"Bad mental image, bad mental image," Light muttered to himself in wake of Mello's comment, putting his hands over his eyes in an attempt to unsee whatever thoughts had been conjured.

"We could..." Matt began, but Mello cut him off.

"No video games." The redhead looked about to start again, but Mello continued,

"And nothing that could lead to kissing me." Mello finished sternly.

At this Matt closed his mouth and returned to the game on his DS.

"Do you have any board games?" Mikami asked suddenly.

"Yes," L replied, "they're in a storage room two floors down. That is a good idea, you should examine what we have."

Once Mikami was out of hearing range and had left the room Mello asked testily, "Do you really have board games down there?"

"Of course," L responded.

"Darn. I was hoping it was just a plan to get rid of him." The blond sighed, and slumped on the floor. A few minutes later the sound of footsteps was heard coming towards the room. It seemed that Mikami had returned.

"Okay, I found a board game called Loaded Questions," he announced, sitting down again with the cardboard wooden box that contained the game. Then the prosecutor began to explain how the game was played.

"According to the rules, a player rolls the die, and moves up a few spaces. Then they draw a question card, and read an opinion-type question to the other players. Each player writes down their answer, then hands their answers to someone other than the person who rolled to read out loud. The player who rolled then tries to match the answers to who wrote them down. For each answer correctly matched, they move ahead another space. Then the player to their left rolls, continuing in the same manner. Of course the first person to reach the end wins."

The genii nodded at this, all understanding, and selected their game pieces. The group then sat in a circle, that clockwise went Near, L, Light, Mikami, Mello, and then finally Matt.

"Since I took the last turn in Unexpected Wishes, I should go first now," Near concluded, twirling his recently dyed purple hair to remind everyone what he went through.

"Very well," L agreed.

Near rolled the die, then picked up his purple game piece to move forward. He took the corresponding question, then read it out loud,

"What is your favorite kind of bagel?"

It seemed a simple enough question, and the participants quickly wrote their answers down, though Matt giggled while doing so. Light then decided to be the one to read them off for that round.

"The answers are cinnamon, plain, chocolate chip, another plain and..." Light hesitated for the next one, "...white cream." Though a few eyebrows were raised at this, Near ignored them, and matched off the answers.

"Mello obviously prefers chocolate chip, L's love of sweets would indicate cinnamon for him, and Light and Mikami's lack of personality would mean they would both choose plain. That leaves Matt with the final one."

"You're completely right," Light stated, handing the answer cards back to their respective players as Near moved farther forward on the board.

"By the way, what does Matt-kun mean by 'white cream'? Is this sour cream, or a type of cream cheese?" Near asked, his innocent and relatively wholesome mind not seeing Matt's innuendo, let alone understanding what it meant.

"Hehehe, it's just white cream," Matt said, chuckling. No one really wished to elaborate, so they moved on to the next player, L.

After rolling and moving his piece, L read off his question.

"What is the best part about traveling?"

This required a bit more thought for some, and this time Matt limited himself to a mere smirk. Mikami then read the answers.

"We have: sightseeing, red lights, being able to offend people with no consequences, weather changes, and discussing common interests with people from other cultures."

L brought a thumb to his lip in thought, noting that Near had been fortunate enough to have a much easier time. Yet he was L, and he would not let one simple question defeat him.

"Hmm, well Mello most likely would be interested in the additional freedom to offend people, and Light-kun probably would pick either the first or last one." Though Light was able to keep his expression blank, Mello's facial expression contorted enough so that L could tell that he was correct. He pondered the other answers.

"I'm not quite sure on this one. But I'll say sightseeing for Light, red lights for Near, weather changes for Matt, and talking with people from other cultures for Mikami."

"You have mine, Kami's, and Mello's correct," Mikami told him, "but Matt and Near's reversed."

"Weather changes?" Mello asked Near. The albino boy stayed silent.

"Red lights?" he said, turning to Matt.

"You know, red lights?" the redhead explained, involving mass amounts of eyebrow wiggling. "You stop at a red light, and you get out, maybe for about an hour?"

"Perv," the blond accused, obviously understanding now. Near and L, on the other hand, looked incredibly confused. Mikami was emotionless, while Light was glaring a bit.

"It is Light-kun's turn now," L suddenly announced, handing the die to the Kira suspect. Light took his turn, then read the next question.

"What is the most successful job that you can think of?"

Some scribbling, Matt giggling, and Mello saying "shut up" in a gruff tone to Matt. A moment or two later, the cards were passed to Near, who read them out.

"The responses are: being L, mafia boss, cleanser of all evil, world's greatest detective, and prostitute." He showed no change of emotion when reading any of them, though Matt burst out laughing at the last one. Light blushed slightly before matching off the answers.

"Um, mafia boss is Mello's, cleanser of evil is Mikami's, and... the last one is Matt's."

"You have to say it out loud!" Matt exclaimed.

"Fine, _prostitute_ is Matt's," Light corrected.

"So that is what he meant by red lights," L mused, having a bit of a revelation now that he understood Matt's meaning.

"Then 'being L' is L's, and world's greatest detective is Near's," Light finished, ignoring the man he was formerly handcuffed to.

"Wrong," Near declared. "You have mine and L's reversed."

"But I got the others right?"

"Yes," the purple-haired boy conceded. With this Light moved his game piece farther forward, then passed the die to Mikami.

"What do you think is the most useful item ever invented?" the prosecutor asked, reading off the question card.

Surprisingly, Matt kept a straight face while writing his answer down, and everyone seemed to write their answers rather quickly. This time, Matt read the answers off.

"The gun, the pen, handcuffs, the chocolate bar, and the condom." Unfortunately the last response was impossible to understand, since Matt laughed throughout the pronunciation.

"Matt-kun should stop laughing at all of his own inappropriate responses," L chastised. The gamer blatantly ignored him, forcing Mello to grab the answer cards and properly reread the list. All the while, Light was glaring furiously at L.

"You're one to talk," the brunette yelled at him.

"Please don't give away any answers, Light-kun."

Mikami was currently silently contemplating said answers, and eventually he decided on the matches.

"Matt chose the condom," he said, a slight blush forming on his face, "Mello chose the chocolate bar, Light-sama chose the pen, L chose the gun, and Near chose the handcuffs."

"You don't know us at all," Mello snapped, biting off a chocolate bar. "L hates guns. I'm the one that thinks they're brilliant. And for some reason the sheep put down chocolate, which is what I would have put, except I think it doesn't really count, since it's more like a recipe. The only reason you can get Lightbulb's right is because you're a stalker, and you only got Matt's right because he's being stupidly predictable."

The prosecutor glared at him, and Mello matched his gaze, daring the man to begin an argument. But Mikami only sighed, moving forward the pitiful two spaces, and handed the die to the blond.

"Hey Near, why did you write down chocolate?" Matt asked.

"Without chocolate," the albino replied, "I, along with pretty much everyone at Wammy's, would be in considerably more pain on a regular basis. Chocolate keeps Mello relatively docile."

"I think that Near-kun just wants to have confusing answers," L piped in.

"Well, it is beneficial to have the other players be wrong..." Near trailed.

"But that ruins the point of the game!" Light exclaimed.

"I concur," L agreed. "Usually winning is preferable, but in this case honesty makes the game far more enjoyable."

Near twirled a lock of purple hair, considering this.

"Very well," he agreed.

"Hello, my turn here!" Mello announced angrily, having already moved his game piece forward, and holding the question card in his hand. The group's attention turned to him, and he read the question, smirking.

"What country would you most like to visit? Ha, try and corrupt that, Matt!"

"I'll take that as a challenge," the redhead replied, rubbing his head as he tried to find a way to make naming countries inappropriate. The others had already given their cards to L, but Matt was still thinking. Finally, a grin spread over his face, and he wrote down his response. You could say the entire group was a bit afraid of what Matt had come up with.

"I will be interested to see the results of this," L stated before reading off the cards. "The answers are: The United States, Germany, Liechtenstein, Iceland, and Japan."

"Matt's is Liechtenstein," Mello immediately said, frowning.

"You know," Matt whispered to him, "if you wanted to Lick-tenstein me.."

Mello good-naturedly shoved his friend into a wall.

"The Japan one doesn't really make sense, since we're in Japan, but it will be either L or Near, since they don't live here," Mello mused to himself.

"Hmm, I'm going to say Mikami picked Germany, Near chose the U.S., and L's was Japan, which means Light's was Iceland," Mello declared.

"...All correct," L admitted. "Though, I am puzzled as to why Light-kun chose Iceland."

"Iceland has the largest amount of chess grandmasters per capita. I think it would be nice to go there for the competition," Light explained.

"You could simply play chess with me afterwards," L suggested. Light considered this.

"Sure, that sounds fun," he agreed.

"Hey," Mello interrupted, "you'd better make that team chess!"

"You mean bughouse chess?" Mikami corrected.

"Yeah, that. Can we play right now?" Mello asked, intending the question to be for everyone around him.

"Well," Matt said, "I don't really care about getting my turn skipped. It's more fun to answer anyway, so that sounds fine."

"Does anyone else notice how easily we get distracted from what we're originally doing?" Near questioned out of the blue.

"Shut up sheep," came Mello's typical response.

"The problem arises in that bughouse chess is only for four players," L pointed out. "We have six people here."

"I'll sit out," Mikami volunteered.

"I too would prefer to watch," Near added, knowing that it would be more interesting to look at possible strategies from both sides.

"So that leaves Matt, Mello, Light-kun, and myself," L stated, getting out the chess boards. "Now for teams..."

"I'm on L's team!" Mello declared.

"Fine. Then Matt and Light-kun will team up as well," L explained. They set up the boards, and Matt leaned towards Mello's ear, before saying, "This will be a great chance to try out my mating strategy."

"Like I would even let you get to checkmate." Mello growled.

* * *

Author's Note 2: Seriously, chess instructors use the term 'mating strategy' all the time. It's a good thing the pervy guys who helped inspire this fic weren't there to hear that... Hehehe, in fact all of Matt's answers came from one of said pervy guys. Isn't it great when guys unknowingly inspire fanfiction though? Also... L's favorite invention is handcuffs. Bwahaha.


End file.
